Today, I saw a nurse praying, and it made me pause. Someone whose life revolves around science and saving lives — praying to something beyond logic — felt like a contradiction, yet it resonated with me. Maybe that’s because I’ve carried the tension between science, fate, and faith for years.

Growing up in a religious household, faith wasn’t something I chose — it was something I inherited. My family’s devotion surrounded me: images of gods on every wall, prayers before meals, and rituals performed with unwavering belief. As a teenager, I grew sceptical of it all. Still, I didn’t realise that my relationship with God quietly persisted, growing in its way. I think it’s my grandmother’s influence. She raised me; told me stories, read me shloks, and ensured I had a one-on-one conversation with her God every night.

Do I believe in God? My connection with God has always been personal, almost secretive. I think of God as male — unempathetic, ruthless sometimes — but a protective friend. It’s strange how this bond formed. I joke that God has a 3–5 business day turnaround on prayers because I’ve prayed in my weakest moments, and somehow, life has shifted. For me, God is more abstract — maybe not even a ‘He,’ but a presence, a force that exists beyond the physical. After my grandmother passed, I realised that it’s faith that’s kept me dangerously optimistic in an unforgiving world.

I’ve often wondered — do we shape our lives, or is everything already written? It’s the eternal debate: free will or determinism. Are we in control, or are we just following a script? It’s hard to tell. If free will exists, then every choice we make matters — our actions shape our future. But if determinism is real, maybe none of our choices matter.

The truth is, life is a bit of both. There are moments when we get to make decisions and moments when life throws things at us that we can’t control. I’ve learned that we don’t always choose what happens, but we do decide how we react. The idea that everything happens for a reason is comforting, but not everything needs an explanation. Some things just… happen. And it’s up to us to find meaning in the mess.

People are often surprised when they find out I’m spiritual. It could be because I can be cynical, questioning everything around me. But I’ve learned that spirituality doesn’t require certainty. It’s more about trust, about accepting that we don’t have all the answers and maybe we never will.

So, is God real? Does that really matter? Ultimately, I wonder if knowing that is as important as understanding what faith does for us. As Immanuel Kant said, “I had to deny knowledge in order to make room for faith.” Maybe that’s the point.

Let me leave you with one of my favourite songs: 
Call it Fate, Call it Karma by The Strokes