It’s a Tuesday afternoon. You’re in bed, laptop aglow. Your phone rings and a familiar name flashes across the screen. You hesitate, then decline, firing off a quick text: “Busy, what’s up?”

“Nothing important,” comes the reply.

“Cool, talk later.”

But you never do. Months pass. Then one day, you call them, and they say, “Busy, what’s up?”

“Nothing important.”

Are we too busy for casual chats these days? Or do we simply need to remember how to relax and talk on the phone?

I grew up in the simpler era of landlines when spending six hours with my best friend at school wasn’t enough. We’d still call each other and dissect every mundane detail of our day. What did we even talk about, those endless hours? Now, as two women in our late twenties, both immersed in demanding careers, we’re thrilled to even get a text back.

The dynamics of friendships change as technology evolves. Sharing relatable memes has become the new way to show our friends we’re thinking of them. Is this having a positive or negative impact on society? That’s a debate for another day.

There’s this relentless pressure to be “busy” these days. But what is “busy,” really? I suspect it’s often a convenient mask. An excuse to avoid our feelings. It’s easier to hide behind work than to deal with real life. We fill our days with notifications and to-do lists, mistaking motion for meaning. We’re so busy running that we barely have time for the people who matter most. Then, wonder why I am feeling so fucking empty on a Tuesday evening? Maybe I should have picked up that phone call… but what would I even say when my life feels like a never-ending work sprint?

(A brief interlude, if you’ll indulge me: This is for my friends. You are my chosen family. You know who you are. Thank you for always having my back, even when I’m not calling back. And as long as I am alive, you’ll always have someone proud of you.)

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. You fight, you make up, and you occasionally want to strangle each other with your bare hands. You feel loved and sometimes hurt when they don’t have time for you. You will inevitably feel alone in this vast, indifferent universe. But when you’re done wallowing in self-pity, remember that your neighbour is probably going through the same thing. So choose friends who don’t feel like work, tell you the truth (even when it hurts), and make you feel easy to love.

Friendship comes in many forms, each one unique. There are childhood friends who remember that embarrassing thing you did in seventh grade, college friends who saw you through those awkward formative years, the neighbours you chat with in your nearby kirana, work friends who bond over shared frustrations, and online friends who get your weirdest obsessions. Each connection is unique and impossible to quantify or compare.

I have a simple rule that has served me well: “If I can’t tell my friends about it, I shouldn’t be doing it.” It’s a testament to the power of vulnerability and the importance of having people in your life who will call you on your bullshit. Trust me, I’ve been on the receiving end of a few interventions myself.

So, don’t just send a text the next time your phone rings and it’s a friend. Pick up the damn phone and say hello. It might be precisely what you need.